Depression and Low Libido - Coincidence? I Think Not!

Sometimes, you’re just not in the mood. But sometimes, you’re not in the mood for a long time. Or you are in the mood but you can’t reach orgasm. This can be frustrating, especially if you don’t know why it’s happening or how to navigate it. Although its normal to go through “dry spells”, if it lasts a long time it might leave you feeling disconnected or even a bit worried.

So, let’s dive into what may be going on with your body and mind if you have depression and your libido feels off.

What is depression?

Depression isn’t just feeling sad. According to StatsCan, around 1 in 4 people report symptoms of depression, anxiety, and post-traumatic stress disorder, and this rate has been steadily going up. Depression is one of those conditions that affects a person as a whole–mentally, emotionally, and physically. Symptoms can include:

• Depressed humour (feeling down)
• Losing interest in activities you once enjoyed
• Feeling guilty, low self-esteem
• Lack of appetite, sleep, energy, and concentration.

This is a lot to handle, right? So of course it's going to have an impact on your energy and desire to have sex or even masturbate. It's a lot to manage, and sometimes your body just doesn't have the energy to engage in things that usually bring you pleasure.

So why and how is sex connected to depression?

Depression has been shown to have a negative effect on people's lifestyle, especially in regards to sex. There’s many ways depression can affect sex, including decreased libido, erectile dysfunction, and trouble orgasming. This experience is more common than you probably think, so if you’re going through any of these, know that you aren’t alone. Today we’re going to focus on libido, which is a fancy word for sexual desire.

Because depression is a complex condition that isn't fully understood yet, there isn’t one conclusion right now as to why it has an impact on sex drive. However, one theory is that the underlying chemical imbalances in your brain that cause depression directly impact libido too.

It’s normal for sexual desire to go up and down over time, but depression can take this natural ebb and flow and turn it into something more persistent. There are certain things that would typically impact libido that can have a greater impact if you have depression. One of the main culprits is stress. When a major life event happens, like a death, changing jobs, or moving cities, your body goes through a period of adjustment. The stress from a major event can be overwhelming, and when you’re already dealing with a mental health struggle, it can be easy for your body to stop feeling as much desire as a protective response.

How could my antidepressant medication be affecting my libido?

Medication is a common tool for managing depression, and a lot of people find it very helpful. There are many different medications used to manage depression, with the most common class of drugs being selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors–also known as SSRIs. Although these medications are helpful in treating depression, they can also have many side effects, including lowered libido. These effects can persist even after you stop taking SSRIs, so it’s important to speak to your doctor.

If you suspect that your medication may be affecting your sex drive, there are different ways you can approach a solution.

Talk to your doctor about switching it up

Your doctor can provide education about the available options, which could include switching to a different drug, changing the dose of your existing medication, or adding a drug that targets increasing libido.

Speak to a therapist

Dealing with depression involves addressing the psychological and emotional aspects of the condition. Talking to a therapist can provide valuable insight and help you to explore how your depression is affecting your relationship to sex and intimacy. It’s important to understand that depression can alter how you relate to your body, your desires, and even your relationships, so professional support can be crucial in navigating these changes.

Schedule sex

For some people, medications have time-sensitive effects on their libido. Depending on what time of day and how often you take your medication, consider scheduling intimate moments when the effects may be less impactful on your libido.

How can I manage my libido?

Not everyone wants to have sex–and that’s okay! But for the people who are looking to increase their libido and quality of experience– whether it's with a partner(s) or solo–this next section is for you. A dip in libido can feel discouraging to you and your partner, and bring up feelings of rejection or inadequacy, so it’s important to know what sort of strategies might work for you.

Stress relief

Chronic stress can have a serious impact on your libido, so finding ways to manage day-to-day stress is key. There are lots of helpful strategies, like mindfulness, time management, or setting your phone on do not disturb.

Speaking of de-stressing, we have a lot of great massage candles that can help you set the mood and unwind.

Exercise

Get sweaty! Physical activity not only boosts your mood through the release of endorphins, it also helps to increase blood flow (to all parts of your body, if you know what we mean). Even a daily walk or some light yoga can do wonders for both your mind and body.

Avoid drugs and alcohol

While it may be tempting to try and loosen yourself up and get in the mood through a drink or recreational drugs, these often have the opposite effect on sexual abilities and can have unhealthy interactions with medication.

Set aside time together

If you’re in a relationship, set aside some pre-scheduled time for dates. This doesn't have to include sex, it can look like skin-to-skin contact, a nice long cuddle, or whatever makes you feel closer to your partner. If you prefer to ride solo, it’s still a good idea to set aside some time for yourself to have regular moments of self care.

Communicate with your partner

Whether you're in a long term relationship or a one night stand, it's important to be honest with your sexual partner(s). If it's a one-time thing, you don’t have to tell them everything, but it can be helpful to give them a heads up to take off any pressure. If you’re in a relationship, talking openly about your feelings and experiences can create a safe space for intimacy to thrive, even when you may not be feeling sexual desire.

In the end, remember that it’s okay to have ups and downs with your libido. If a decrease in libido is distressing, there are lots of solutions that you can explore, from seeking professional help to switching up lifestyle habits. Take it one step at a time and give yourself permission to not have all the answers right away. Your mental health and sexual health are important and very interdependent, so taking care of one will probably have a positive impact on the other.