Is Masturbating Bad for You?

In short, no. But there are some misconceptions that are so common that a lot of folks believe they ARE facts. In fact, they are so pervasive that people often have a "sense" that masturbation is bad for some reason.

I can clearly remember sitting at in my high school cafeteria after a lovely morning of fucking my shower head. "Do you masturbate!?" Boys were asking the girls at the table. "Ew, no!" They all replied. "I don't need that!" Despite my vaginal walls still throbbing from self-play that morning, I confirmed "Me neither. Gross." And looked around for confirmation that I had gotten the answer right. I had.

So again, is masturbation bad for you? NO. Masturbation is categorically good for you. It floods you with feel-good hormones, reduces stress, improves self esteem, and more. But there are really popular myths that detract from cultural consciousness of facts on self pleasure. So let me address some of these myths.

Myth #1: Masturbation desensitizes you

Nope. Just like with partnered play, if you do precisely the same thing every time you engage, you will become accustomed to it, and potentially require it to orgasm. If you find yourself only masturbating in one position and with one method, I strongly encourage you to change it up!

For a little anecdotal comfort: I am a loud and proud user of the Womanizer Pro II on full tilt. In fact, I own hundreds of sex toys and experiment with them often. I still have stronger orgasms with no toys and very gentle stimulation from my partner.

Myth #2: You won't get pleasure with a partner if you masturbate

Ha-ha. This myth is a total uno-reverse card. If you masturbate, you are MUCH MORE LIKELY to EXPERIENCE pleasure in partnered play. Through self-play, you develop neural pathways to pleasure that are familiar to you, you learned things that you like and don't like. You also learn signs that you are and aren't in the mood, and about what sexual context works for you. All of these support more pleasure with a partner.

Myth #3: If you use sex toys you don't know how to enjoy play without toys

Again, not at all. Ask literally anyone you know who has used sex toys and engages in partnered play, or enjoys playing acoustic (masturbate sans sex toys).

Some folks do not climax with partnered play, and the addition of a vibrator means that they DO orgasm with their partners. More pleasure = more sexy, if you ask me. And most anyone who has introduced sex toys to their partnered play can confirm.

Myth #4: Masturbating means you are a slut

According to Miriam-Webster, a slut is a "promiscuous person : someone who has many sexual partners... an unclean or slovenly woman..." or "...an impudent girl."

Categorically masturbation do not mean you have multiple sexual partners (In fact, it could just be yourself). Additionally, there is nothing inherently wrong with having multiple sexual partners - it's just a fact. So promiscuity is a moot point. The terms unclean and slovenly are laughable in this context and demonstrate the religiously founded judgements around sexual pleasure. There obviously is nothing dirty or unkept about folks who please themselves sexually. In fact, folks who masturbate are likely to have a higher self image than those who don't. And finally, impudent girl. Impudent means or insolent, disrespectful. Disrespectful to whom!? And how has age and gender, both denoted by the term "girl," landed in the mix? This suggests that there is some sort of heirarchy, where the slut is accountable to some sort of person or entity that disapproves.

All this to say, the concept of "slut" is so laden with poor assumptions and bad history that it's not really worth noting here. We can all deduce that masturbating doesn't make us impudent. It makes us awesome.

Myth #5: You will become addicted to masturbation

Actually, the conesensus is that you can't actually be addicted to masturbation. There is literally no clinical diagnosis for it. Just like abosutely ANYTHING in life, if it gets in the way of your day-to-day life, it's worth taking a look at. There is, however, zero connection between masturbating and becoming addicted. Masturbation is not the cigarettes of the 2020's.

One thing to note...

As you may have noticed, a lot of these myths have to do with preserving pleasure for a partner to deliver. Or never having so much pleasure that you may have less with a partner being inherently bad. These myths are extensions of historical systems that oppress us as individuals, and as members of groups. After all, no one can police our behaviour alone like we can police ourselves. So best make self-pleasure feel like a dangerous act that we avoid just in case.

So should you masturbate? I don't care. I want you to do what you want to do with actual information at hand. Self-pleasure does offer a lot of benefits that a lot of people enjoy. But don't hold yourself back from something that can be wonderful because of myths that a) make no sense and b) further the oppression of individuals and groups. Okay?